Behind every woman

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Mark Twain

Recap

Samuel’s Death

Samuel died, and all Israel assembled to mourn for him, and they buried him by his home in Ramah. David then went down to the Wilderness of Paran.

1 Samuel 25:1

The namesake of this book we’ve been studying has finally died.

Imagine the loss David must be feeling—he must be reeling.

And he can’t even go to the funeral, most likely. It says that he went down to the Wilderness of Paran. He got away, by himself, to think/pray.

Story, Part I

A man in Maon had a business in Carmel; he was a very rich man with three thousand sheep and one thousand goats and was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The man’s name was Nabal, and his wife’s name, Abigail. The woman was intelligent and beautiful, but the man, a Calebite, was harsh and evil in his dealings.

1 Samuel 25:2–3

The ESV says “The woman was discerning and beautiful,
but the man was harsh and badly behaved.”

How many of you ladies would say this describes your marriage?
Just kidding, don’t answer that!

So let me just summarize what happens in the next few verses. David and his band of merry men had been protecting Nabal and his property from Philistine raiding parties while they’re out in the wilderness. They’d been sacrificially helpful to Nabal’s shepherds and really helped them thrive. In fact, one of his servants says in verse 16 that David and his men had been “like a wall around them.”

It was customary to, once a year, at the time of the sheep-shearing, to give a thank you gift to people like that who had assisted you. So, David sent some of his young men to ask for it—it was basically assumed—but Nabal rejected David’s men, and to make matters worse, he sent them away with this stinging insult:

Nabal asked them, “Who is David? Who is Jesse’s son? Many slaves these days are running away from their masters. Am I supposed to take my bread, my water, and my meat that I butchered for my shearers and give them to these men? I don’t know where they are from.”

1 Samuel 25:10–11

He knows who David is—otherwise, how would he know to call him the “son of Jesse”?. He’s adding insult to injury.

And he knows why David’s out in the wilderness, too—because he’s running away from Saul. That’s why he adds the line about slaves running away from their masters. Just getting one extra dig in at David.

Imagine you are a waiter at a really nice restaurant, and some large party comes in, rents a private room, and you and a couple of runners are assigned responsibility for them. They are there for like 5 hours, until after midnight, and you and your team give excellent service; really busting your hump to take care of their needs. Well, the bill comes, it’s for several thousand dollars, and the guy disputes several items and leaves no tip. You are like, “Sir, I think you forgot to fill out the tip portion.” And he says, “Quit begging me for money, you mouthbreather. The only reason you are a waiter is probably because you flunked out of school and can’t do anything else. Here’s your tip: find a better paying job.”

He said to his men, “All of you, put on your swords!” So each man put on his sword, and David also put on his sword.

1 Samuel 25:13

“I guarded everything that belonged to this man in the wilderness for nothing. He was not missing anything, yet he paid me back evil for good. May God punish me and do so severely if I let any of his males survive until morning.”

1 Samuel 25:21–22

Last week David resisted killing Saul when Saul, who was actively seeking his life, was sitting there right in front of him. This week, he is about to murder a bunch of innocent people because he got stiffed on a tip and insulted. The guy who resisted killing his enemy is about to murder the whole household of a nobody. He passed the big test and is about to fail the little one.

1. Pride comes before a fall, mountains before valleys, and victory before temptation.

After a mountain, there’s always a valley.

Pride

Pride’s really at the core of what’s going on here. David’s insulted that this fool would do such a thing. “Who’s David? Who’s this son of Jesse? I’ll show you who he is, buddy… a man that you don’t mess with, that’s who.”

Pride comes before destruction,
and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

Godly people are still sinful people.

Paul had to confront Peter for denying the gospel.

Righteousness vs. Self-Righteousness

There is a certain pride we feel when we do the right thing. It’s the positive side of the conscience we talked about last week.

The danger comes when you see someone doing the very thing you just refused to do. At that moment, it’s so easy to think, “WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU!” You were convicted of the evil of that act in your own heart, so you’re repulsed by it when you see it in others.

Ironically, we can be most judgmental about sins we’ve dealt with.

Who dealt with? We’re not righteous on our own, but by His righteousness. Paul said, “There is nothing good in me.”

Godly Anger vs. Ungodly Anger

human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

James 1:20

Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.

Ephesians 4:26–27

That’s hard. The only way to do that is to give your anger to Him and let him watch over it during the night… and the next day, too!

Story, Part II

Enter Abigail, that beautiful and intelligent woman we heard about in verse 3. One of Nabal’s men goes to her and tells her how David and his men had treated them, and how Nabal had just treated them in return. He says,

Now consider carefully what you should do, because there is certain to be trouble for our master and his entire family. He is such a worthless fool nobody can talk to him!”

1 Samuel 25:17

Notice how he doesn’t give her advice on what to do—he just relays the situation and trusts her wisdom,

Abigail springs into action. Gathers up giant gift basket, and goes to intercept David and his men, who she (rightly!) assumes are coming.

”Nabal’s not worth it.”

She knelt at his feet and said, “The guilt is mine, my lord, but please let your servant speak to you directly. Listen to the words of your servant. My lord should pay no attention to this worthless fool Nabal, for he lives up to his name: His name means ‘stupid,’ and stupidity is all he knows. I, your servant, didn’t see my lord’s young men whom you sent.

1 Samuel 25:24–25

Ridiculous baby names and spellings. Wade & Idegail, Ben & Ilene

“Fool” is not in the top running!

Reminding David of God’s Promises

Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord is certain to make a lasting dynasty for my lord because he fights the Lord’s battles. Throughout your life, may evil not be found in you.

“Someone is pursuing you and intends to take your life. My lord’s life is tucked safely in the place where the Lord your God protects the living, but he is flinging away your enemies’ lives like stones from a sling.

1 Samuel 25:28–29

As someone who deals with words every week, who labors over how to say the right thing in the right way, I literally sat back in awe over that phrase this week. That is just sheer brilliance on Abigail’s part.

What’s she doing? She’s reminding David of God’s promises to him, and his faithfulness to keep them in the past.

She saying, without saying, “Remember where your hope is, David?”

  1. Pride comes before a fall, mountains before valleys, and victory before temptation.

2. Behind every faithful person are faithful people.

A. She was faithful to take the risk

It’s not fun to be married to a fool. All Abigail had to do to get out of this marriage is sit back, let David’s men come, and say, “Finally!” But she didn’t. She was faithful to take action, take the risk, to do something to save someone.

Abigail stepped into the narrative like a busy
triage nurse, assessing damage and treating wounds.

Nana Dolce, Gospel Coalition

It’s a risk to confront sin, but what’s the risk of not confronting it?

If you don’t deal with your problems,
your problems will deal with you.

Abigail put everything on the line to save Nabal’s men.

If we’re going to play the role God wants us to in keeping a bad situation from getting worse, it will cost us. When you share a burden, there’s a cost to that. Your life is not as peaceful. Your heart will be heavier. Your sleep may be interrupted.

If the conversations you know you need to have don’t go well, you may even lose the relationship with that person.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so that you also won’t be tempted. Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:1–2

We have to be willing to put everything on the line when it’s for God’s glory and the eternal good of his people. They are worth it, and He is worth it.

She speaks with calm clarity in an emotionally charged situation.

B. She was faithful to deal with the spiritual issue.

She could have left it at “He’s not worth it.” Might have worked.

When the Lord does for my lord all the good he promised you and appoints you ruler over Israel, there will not be remorse or a troubled conscience for my lord because of needless bloodshed or my lord’s revenge.”

1 Samuel 25:30–31

Abigail had no way of knowing what had happened in the cave a few weeks before this. She didn’t know that David’s conscience was the thing that got to him when he cut off the edge of Saul’s robe.

But God did. And He used her to break through David’s hard heart in that moment.

If your goal is simply to stop a behavior, that might be enough, for a while. But if the goal is healing, spiritual health, true repentance, then we have to go deeper than that. We have to get to the root, not just the fruit.

And in the Christian life, the heart of the matter is always a matter of the heart.

C. Faithful to listen and hear God’s voice through others.

David listened, he and he was glad he did.

Then David accepted what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. See, I have heard what you said and have granted your request.”

1 Samuel 25:35

We’ve talked about this often it seems like in this book. We need each other!

One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Proverbs 18:1

  1. Pride comes before a fall, mountains before valleys, and victory before temptation.

  2. Behind every faithful person are faithful people.

3. Above all is a righteous and restraining God.

That’s what Abigail said.

Now my lord, as surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live—it is the Lord who kept you from participating in bloodshed and avenging yourself by your own hand—may your enemies and those who intend to harm my lord be like Nabal.

1 Samuel 25:26

That’s what David believed.

Then David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! May your discernment be blessed, and may you be blessed. Today you kept me from participating in bloodshed and avenging myself by my own hand.

1 Samuel 25:32–33

That’s what God did.

Then Abigail went to Nabal, and there he was in his house, holding a feast fit for a king. Nabal’s heart was cheerful, and he was very drunk, so she didn’t say anything to him until morning light.

In the morning when Nabal sobered up, his wife told him about these events. His heart died and he became a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal dead.

1 Samuel 25:36–38

Conclusion

Women (and men), be like Abigail to others.

As the father of now three daughters, I want to raise them to be ferocious in their faith, theologically able to go toe-to-toe with anyone, but to do so with grace and humility, to have boldness, beauty, and brains.

Men (and women), don’t be a Nabal. Be like David (after!).

Listen to the Abigails God has placed in your life.

Trust him to ""champion your cause”.

Abigail → Jesus

Now, I’ve just said that the characters in this story should serve as examples to us of how to and how not to go about living life in a way that pleases God.

But we can never end there.

The Bible isn’t primarily a collection of ethical
principles but the epic drama of redemption.

Nana Dolce, Gospel Coalition

We should always be looking for glimpses of the gospel in every story, because Jesus taught us that they’re all ultimately pointing us to Him. Every story whispers His name.

In this story, Abigail is the closest picture we get of Jesus—

All of that points us to King Jesus, the true Son of David who lays down his life for all of us treasonous Nabals.